abre los ojos

celeb look alike! agree? hahaha

2006-09-05T04:27:00.000-07:00

the fact that i'm not graduating

2006-08-31T21:47:00.000-07:00

le 31 aout 2006 aka judgement day

introduction to philosophy - 4.0
literature 2 - 3.0
management tools - 3.0
international business - 2.5
business income taxation - 2.5
MIS for entrepreneurs - 2.5
Practi3 - 2.5
term gpa - 2.8

LEGAL ENVIRONMENT - 0.0
term gpa -2.6

tanginaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hindi ako ggraduate! zombie!
8-930 am class next term with the same professor. i feel sick!

i wanna sock myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wanna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yun 24 units na i worked ssooooooooooooo hard for now down the drain. why couldn't atty. sanchez get that??? why??

to top it off, kobe passed away this morning. oh the depression!
im out!

all about kobe

2006-08-29T03:49:00.000-07:00

everybody, meet kobe.. =)

kobe is the son of lebron. say hi kobe! don't be shy!
unfortunately, kobe is sick. he is alone now, his sister died and his other sister is already with the dad.
he has parasites from his mom, and since he was given to me last sunday only, my doctor was only able to confirm that his intestines are already being eaten by those useless notorious bloodsuckers. they deserve to die.
anyway, kobe doesn't eat anymore, he's not doing very well. he craps worms with blood and he cant be dewormed at this point because it will only worsen his weak state.
he was given vitamin shots by the doctor, prescribed medicine, and tomorrow kobe will have a taste of his very first yakult.
lets all pray that kobe gets better. i love kobe =(

we will see in a few days if kobe survives.

vendredi

2006-08-25T00:02:00.000-07:00

finally, friday.
i have waited for this day the whole week.

yesterday, i was in school by 8am to take my Legalen finals, end i left school at 8pm because i had to wait for the two scheduled reports in the evening that started freaking late! agh!
so today, my legs hurt, my feet are sore, im dizzy from oversleep..
and this rest day?? its driving me nuts! im sooooooooooo bored!!!!!!

tomorrow was supposed to be hk day 1 but lets postpone it na lang.. call it delayed gratification =D
anyhoo.. i wanna eat.

gaining weight by the minute,
carissa the fat

enjoying lack of sleep immensely

2006-08-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

i shouldn't have ordered a tall hot mocha valencia. now, i'm hungry and i freaaaaaaakiiiiiiiiiiin can't sleep! it's 1 am and i'm scavenging the house for food.. to think i have to wake up at 5:30 later to get to school by 8am for my friggin legal environment finals.

somebody sock me.

one day left

2006-08-16T19:56:00.000-07:00

yup! one day left in school, aaaaahhhhhhhhh! yesss... well, i'm just recalling the top three things i enjoyed doing in college:
1. cutting class
2. eating while reading while running to the next building
3. crapping in any cr =D

a tout a l'heure!

shaolin weekend

2006-08-08T10:23:00.000-07:00

this layout does not give me the chance to post the title, but just so you know i entitled this entry as... SHAOLIN WEEKEND.

so i obviously want to let you know about my weekend, or how it went. i had a lot of things planned, friday was cut class day for shopping then the johnny walker black party in the evening, and then saturday was practice for defense day and then meng's birthday in the evening, and the usual sleep all day sunday then mass and dinner with the family after. i only got to the early friday part. i was able to go shopping with dens, and then go home. i had a nasty rash when i got home, so i took anti allergy medicine and then went to sleep. the next day...

BOOM! (go figure)

7 more days

2006-08-01T07:22:00.000-07:00

7 more days and he'll be home
i miss him a lot =(

growing up

2006-07-30T03:35:00.000-07:00

does growing my hair come with maturity?? kind of funny, if you ask me, but lately i have realized that although my mind is still twisted, i have matured. not in all aspects, but, i certainly have learned how to handle certain situations with the "grace of a woman." in two months, i'll be 21 years old and its time to start acting my age so everyone will treat me like a real adult.

what the heck, what am i talking about???

coming sooner than 21 is in three weeks, college life is officially over (or so i hope my midterm grade of 91 in law will stay there). am i excited? oh yeah! am i nervous? you're damn right about that! do i know what to do? HELL NO! why? well...
as i've always said, i'm in the wrong course. i never dreamt of becoming a business woman but lately, i am so damn focused on being one. why? i don't feel i have any other choice. i don't want to disappoint anybody in my family.

what's even more disappointing is that lately, i have started to bring out my real side and it made me realize that art is where i will be happy. it sucks not having any choices left. time has passed me by and now i am stuck on the road to a career and a future that is... not me, yet mine. get the paradox there? (or is that an oximoron??)

so in closure, this situation that i'm in and the way i'm handling it, does it, in any way prove i have grown? my best guess is yes, because what i used to do is to pursue what i love most. but now, i'm only going to be pursuing what makes the most sense.

what is love, now, to me?
love is and always will be one thing:
ART.

my online photo album!

2006-07-29T03:29:00.000-07:00

hey guys! please visit my photo album at www.candymag.com =)
thanks to macy for this =)

recent edits

2006-07-29T01:50:00.000-07:00

edited but not cleaned! haha.. if you happen to drop by this blog, please do not focus on me because these pictures aren't about me but the totality of the photograph. =)

i need sunshine

2006-07-25T06:21:00.000-07:00

this rainy weather sucks! i miss the sea and the sun =(
those two are among my best shots of bihia.
for more pics : carissafrancisco.shutterfly.com

on beauty

2006-07-20T08:07:00.000-07:00

true beauty: is it arrogant? proud? with young girls who feel that they own the world by posting gruesome looking pictures of their faces everywhere and receiving thousands of comments regarding their so called " beauty," well to tell you frankly its a little too low. just a little, but then again let me reconsider that. oh yeah, down right low. why? beauty without any essence of art is not beauty at all, its merely a reconstruction of their perception of beautiful. in the eyes of an artist, physical beauty with no spirit is like a wormy apple inside. low, cheap, and uncanningly boastful. beauty with no emotion is nothing but a picture seen through thick, foggy glass. beauty without heart is nothing but wasteful seduction, seemingly irresistible yet a bite of it will only make you spit it out. it will gag you, poison you, make you believe that your life had been wasted because there was a second of your time spent with something not worth it.

after you read this, nothing will ever be the same. you have just entered the mind of a 20 year old
pscycho and there's no turning back.

100 years from now, somebody will realize i am right. dark, bitter, and painful, but right... nonetheless. 100 years from now, a beautiful soul will find realization in my musings, and the birth of a tragic advocacy to destroy all things seemingly beautiful shall begin.

thoughts on the practical applicability of the graph theory

2006-07-12T03:26:00.000-07:00

thoughts on the practical applicability of the graph theory and existensialism
okay, you can call me a nerd but after much much contemplation, and an episode of numbers, i definitely agree to the possibility that given an odd number of paths, one can never pass by each one of them without either missing one path, or passing by the same path twice. i like to think that this is the same with the people we meet in our life. it is impossible to go on with your life without having to go through the same trial again. there. i just gave you something new to ponder on!

somehow, this leads me to the philosophical discussion of soren kierkegaard's either/or book. to those who may not know him, soren kierkegaard is the father of existensialism, the philosophy that believes that a person's outlook in life is based on his life experiences. i'd have to agree with him on that one. my utopia is where i appreciate the predictability of things, which somehow leads to lesser expectations, and therefore lesser hurt. and this is how i become happy, by knowing what to expect and having little disappointments. talk about eudaemonaia. so anyway, mr. kierkegaard talks about how in life you have to make choices, and you have to stick with those choices, and this is proof of how mature you are as a person. now, isn't that something?

well, i gotta go for now. i have more to experience in life. =)

On Lies and False Witness Against One's Neighbor

2006-07-03T10:51:00.000-07:00

ON LIES AND FALSE WITNESS AGAINST ONE'S NEIGHBOR
It was the ninth of those words written on the stone
Yet still it is a part of what one instills on one's own
And the ninth shall be heeded for it protects the truth
From being tainted by whose conscience's evilness is absolute

For these stains- though temporary- lasts a short while of for good
And it cuts through, and it bleeds- like a painful wound would
Excuse? There are no excuses, for if you are evil you are nothing more
You can only dream, dream is what you can only do- of being pure

Those lies, are they from your heart, your ego, or your mind?
Or simply an attempt to climb up to their kind?
That of which you can never be, so dream on and aspire
You who has a dark heart get to nowhere but where you presently are

My whispers, no, I can never be hushed
For your two faced apology had left my heart crushed
And now, I will write and you will read with hazy eyes
This is for you, dear woman, in appreciation of your lies

Now, are you sorry? Are you afraid to face me?
You should be, you should be ashamed, for you have not only cheated me-
But also yourself, with your finger pointed in my direction
I stand firm, unwavered, I will face you without hestitation

You, you are a liar, a self centered superwoman
You, you are blasphemous, yes you are the one
That these words are shooting at, so bow down in shame
Today the world finds out when they hear me say your name

Kneel down in prayer, in you pretty little ladder
I bet your heart hasn't beat this fast ever, you have come against me so don't wonder
I am proud, I stand alone, I do not put my brothers in pain
You, you persecute me and the rest, for your own personal gain

Vanity and Greed, just two of the devil's most favorite sins
Do not dare look in the mirror, you will only see his sneering grin
Loathe me! If you must, point many fingers at my place
I will only look at you, you hypocrite, with a smiling and proud face

The honest and the righteous shall be nothing but blessed
You will never be a part of what truthfulness deems the best
We, who are honest, whose principles stand strong
Will never be fazed by your intrigues, so.. Go on singing your lonely song.

the aftermath of deceit.

2006-06-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

The Aftermath of Deceit
"I am great," so you say
As the music fades away
And light flickers slowly
Embracing you in a dark, steely sea
And your tears will not dry
Even as time passes by
For the ghosts which are mine
Will haunt you through time
So you see, now you're sorry
And you deeply regret
That the things you have murdered
Are the things you never had
And you write with a heart
That cuts through, and apart
And you sit back with pleasure
But this is the only moment you will savor
For in the air soars your sword
You have triumphed in your world
But your heart bursts open
And flames of pain engulf you once again

Now you know it's envy that you feel
It's my mind that you want to steal

And if your intelligence comes this far
You will raise a white flag to this war
Fall on your knees, Succumb to your defeat
Sit cold, naked, and alone.. Worshipping at my feet.